Day 67

So maybe today I didn’t win so much. I had a heaped pile of mash potato for dinner 😮 Not a lot else but still that would have kicked me right out of ketosis. So I am not feeling confident that I will lose any weight this week :/ Though as long as I lose at least 100 grams right? Anything is better than nothing.

Went to the new psychologist today. She seems lovely. I felt heard and understood. She acknowledged how I wouldn’t even realise I was in a toxic relationship when I grew with a narcissistic mother, a family with addictive behaviours and abusive etc. When I said I’m terrified of people she said that stems from trauma and I went through a lot of trauma so of course I am terrified. When I said I have trouble in social situations and making and maintaining and trusting friends she said, of course I do! When I hear my history laid out like it was today I too really see how amazing I am because I am where I am and not dead or a junkie or drunk etc. I’ve made good choices for me and I’m doing a good job. Anyway, she seems nice but still, it must have undug some stuff for me seeing as I caved and ate the mash potato instead of giving the kids more.

It is what it is I guess. I can only do the best I can do in any given moment and that moment kind of sucked. I doubt I’ll eat much tomorrow at Sizzler though there are a couple different salads I wanna try but I’m not interested in stuffing myself stupid. Besides, my favourite skirt keeps getting looser and I’m not sure if that’s just this strange thing that happens where my clothes grow or if it’s because I really am losing weight. I’ll just pretend it’s a symptom of my weight loss.

So I may not have won today but I didn’t lose either.

What do you think?