Day 84

I feel like I haven’t been doing so well with the whole OF/lose weight thing the past month. This makes me sad because I really do want to lose the weight. I really do want to get under 100 kg before my b’day and I want to be as skinny as I can be before I have to meet Rosanne. Maybe this coming week I will do better though. This is going to be my 12th week and I’m already down 11.4 kg. Tomorrow is weigh-in day and hopefully I’m at least 600 grams down from where I was on Tuesday or Wednesday, whenever I weighed-in. Maybe my 12th week I can get back into a more strict approach again and perhaps I can find some more high intensity exercise to do just for a little bit each day, get my heartrate to spike right up there. I’d love to see another 2kg week happen so I can be a step ahead of my goal. I really want to start seeing and feeling differences like the pants being looser at camp, the ones that don’t have the elastic and how easily the fitbit band comes on and off my wrist now, it’s no longer quite a stretch. I really want to get well and truly into the 120’s range and head on down to the teens. It’s time for me to heal myself, it’s time for me to put some of the pieces back together and put pieces I’d packed away into their rightful space and begin to own who I am and show up in the world the way I was always meant to. It’s time for me begin exploring leadership and taking on a leadership kind of energy. It’s time for me to start stepping into my power. It’s time for me to start using my power and directing my power to help me manifest things in my life again.

So today wasn’t much to talk about really. I made the kids come for a walk around the bushlands with me again and I sat here reading uni stuff half the day and then on the lounge the other half of the day and ate things I really don’t want to be eating. So that was my day. Today, again, I won for the walk but didn’t win for the food consumption. That needs to change. I need to get stricter again and I think this week I can because I literally have $40 to feed myself for the week.

What do you think?