DAY 91

Well I didn’t quite make it to a 7700 deficit this week and seeing as I can have a 10000 deficit and still not lose 1 kg I just don’t like my chances. Plus any time I’ve weighed in mid-week this week I’ve put ON 1 kg, so I guess we’ll see what we see tomorrow. Today was a nothing special day. I didn’t eat anything terribly bad other than I had a chocolate milk after dinner. I did some lawn mowing which is good for the burning of calories though and well, the hounds of hell have arrived so any water retention might finally release from my body but probably not for a couple days. I’m not feeling hopeful to have maintained my 1 kg a week average sadly.

I’ve done fuck all but read uni stuff and procrastinate about reading uni stuff cause it’s all boring as hell and I can’t even find shit to reference for my assignments which is doing my head in. I’m so ready for this first trimester to be over with. I know that the whole 3 week break will be taken up with essays and then reading for the next trimester but I’m very much over it all. I’m just really over all the things today I guess because I’m so stressed about money and the lack thereof. Not sure how I’m meant to feed my kids this week, so that’s a fun thing I get to try and deal with. I’m fine, I can probably just live on OF but they need actual real food that costs actual real money. I need a face painting gig or fucking something.

I did the ritual to burn the message tree from uni today but that was for them not me. Meh, I’m just really over life right now. Is that post-camp blues starting to hit? Or is that just the stresses of life hitting? Or is it bleeding-time hormonal flux hitting? Or am I just really tired? I don’t know. It would help my mood if I weigh in under 129 tomorrow though, so let’s just hope for the best even though I’m expecting the worse. Today, I guess I won.

What do you think?