Day Forty-Four

Apparently, I missed blogging yesterday. Oops. Probably because my computer died in the arse for some reason and I spent most of the day worrying about it and trying to figure out how to get the stupid thing to work just to have it magically work all of a sudden near the end of the day. Seriously, computers are a big what the fuckery.

Today, as always with Tuesdays, I am so mentally fatigued, then I had to do 300 lines in InScribe. I’m so grateful I had a bunch of my favourite and easiest dictator lined up to get me over my line count. Now I have an all dayer to do tomorrow and I’m already tired for that. I had a really lovely guy stand up and offer me his seat on the train today. I was blown away. 1, I somehow manifested that or emitted the kind of energy that allowed another human to want to honour me in such a way, 2, I accepted that honouring though I did notice an essence of guilt and a deep desire to then do something nice for someone else. I did not deserve the seat more than he did just because I am a female, in fact, he deserved the seat more than me simply because he was willing to stand up for the trip and allow me a seat. What an amazing human. I am so grateful for it too because my knee and ankle is still recovering and I was not looking forward to having to stand the whole way into the city.

I’m so damn exhausted I feel like I can barely breathe right now. I am grateful I spend the afternoon on the lounge reading my stuff with the kids jumping on and off me all arvo though. At least I got through most of the reading I had to get done for tomorrow and I got to still be in the energy of the kids.

Now I need to watch a youtube video before I head off to bed and hopefully get some really good sleep so I can wake up feeling much better tomorrow. The impending email I had to send today to Voldemort was weighing on me all damn day, to the point even my teacher came up and asked if I was doing ok today. I didn’t quite realise how much it was affecting me until I realise that she had noticed in a room of 26 other students. Interesting how observant she is. My heart just was not in it today. It probably didn’t help that I feel really out of my depth at times and I struggle to link what I’m learning back to what I will be doing next year in placements.

Anyway, as far as food is concerned, today and yesterday I did well. Seeing a nice big drop on the scales yesterday helped. Oh, that made me remember, I didn’t do my weigh in post! The scales are showing me 134.1 kg now! I’m super stoked with that. That means a 1.4 kg loss last week and that is so motivating! I’m really super hopeful that means I’ll be under 130 kg when I get to camp over Easter. I am so tired I haven’t even had a chance to read the registration pack with all the details yet! I’ll get there, probably on the weekend while I’m trying to work 2 jobs plus read all the stuff I need to read for next week and do work on the poster project and put together my 10 minute presentation… I seriously don’t know how I will manage.

What do you think?