Day Forty-Six

Went to bed at 9 pm and was still awake at midnight. It probably didn’t help that just as I was falling asleep I came up with what I could do my Uni presentation on so thought I should actually write it down so I didn’t forget! I’m glad I did thought because I think it is exactly what I need to share and it touches on a lot of what we have been studying and I feel like I could get a really good mark for the presentation. I’m actually kind of excited about it even though I’ll likely be in fight-or-flight response come the day of the presentation… that is fighting not to flee!! I wonder if I could harness the excitement part and just teach myself to enjoy! That would be amazing and let’s face it, I’m amazing and doing amazing things this year. This year is being a really fucking good year, though I had this feeling it would be. Not always easy, not by a long shot, the stress is pretty high, but a good year nonetheless and let’s face it, I think I thrive on stress! At least on acute stress. I actually think I thrive on chronic stress too, unfortunately my body is exhausted by it but maybe I can help support my body via the food I eat and the exercise I do and the mental attitude I’m trying to create and some spiritual practice thrown in for good measure. I mean that is what it’s all about right? The four houses and living a holistic (whole) life?

I seem to be in super study mode, something has opened my brain wide and activated it and that is amazing except for the fact that I now have to try and wind down and go to sleep and I’m not sure how to do that. I think it was the video I watched that combined science with art, the drawing while they explained was the best thing ever! I just went and had a look at the whole channel and there is SO MUCH I want to watch. I’m glad they’re just short videos yet so informative and the illustrations as he goes along are incredibly helpful in helping me understand some of this stuff. I wish he did more on stress seeing as that is what we’re currently learning about.

Anyway, went to the naturopath today, turns out my iodine levels are pretty damn low and she recommends iodine supplements. The ones she recommends are so expensive but I figure even cheaper ones with less good stuffs is still going to benefit me… right? So I’ll invest in some iodine tablets and start taking them… well isn’t that hilarious. I just looked at my table and I actually have a bottle of iodine tablets sitting right there. See, I already knew. I always know. I really need to fully trust my intuition especially when it comes to medical stuff. I seem to have this deep medical intuition that goes well beyond my cognitive knowledge that always turns out to be right. Every time I go to the doctor I tell them exactly what is wrong and they do the right tests for it and always confirm what I’m saying. I always know what I need and what is right for me. I need to trust that more. Why spend copious amounts of money on tests and appointments when I know deep within me what is right and wrong about my health. Easier said than done though right?

Well this year I’m listening to one of the things my allies have been screaming at me about for years. My weight. It is time to get a healthier weight again and I’m doing so well so far. It has only been 6.5 weeks and I’m already down 7.4 kgs. That is excellent! I am so excited by that and so grateful this energy/motivation is lasting me. I really hope I ride it all the way down to a healthier weight.

So, today, I won! Super won! I’m amazing.

What do you think?