Day Twenty One

So, I really do want actual friends that I can spend time with and do stuff with but at the same time I really value my time alone. How do I reconcile that? I got to spend the day with a lovely lady today, she is soft, she has similar beliefs to myself, we’re on quite a similar journey together but then I realised I got nothing done today… I mean, it wasn’t nothing. I got to chat and I got to do some art and I got to go to a psychic fair but I did not get any study done and I got to the end of the day and it felt like a blip, it went so fast. Which I guess is proof I enjoyed my day but still… time goes fast enough, you know?

Well, tomorrow is the dreaded weigh-in day and I get to see if any weight actually came off or not. I have no hope even though nothing has changed. There is but one way to find out though. Did not struggle with food today either. There were fish n chips in front of me and even an offer of sushi and I didn’t even feel a small crumble of resolve. I think there might have been a little twinge but it was nothing. I had no craving, no hunger… I was good. So that was interesting to note. I did, however, get a boost juice but I hope that isn’t too bad and I am having an aloe vera juice now. I don’t know. I feel like I’m walking a fine line of what is ok and what is not ok. All I know is, I really want to lose weight. I want to do it for me 90% but there is that 10% that wants to do it so I don’t have to be a big heffalump when I meet his girlfriend eventually. It made me feel sick and sad when I saw her car sitting in the driveway behind his. Meh.

Anyway, today, I won.

What do you think?