… I’m meant to be doing a post a day. Its 5pm already here in the lovely land of Oz and all I’ve done today is face paint for 2 hours at my regular gig, work a bit on the first lesson from Tamara in her LifeBook 2015 course, and daydream about what I would like to get done instead of actually doing it. Yeap, that’s me, Master Procrastinator.
WHAT I WANNA GET DONE
I want to finish editing the last of the beginner mandala course so I can start working on the intermediate one, or better yet the beginner copic e-course… which one of those would you prefer I did first? Oh, and I want to record a book binding video.
I want to put together some kind of pdf or such for my face painting and email it out to a bunch of taverns I think might possibly take me on as a regular. I would love to have at least 2 more regular gigs a week. I’d happily not do any other face painting if I could have 3 regular gigs a week!
For now, if I’m honest with myself, these are really the ONLY two things I need to get done to help both of my businesses along. If I could just focus on both of those things instead of getting side-tracked with polyclay, or mixed media projects, or telecasts, then perhaps I could stop feeling like I’m not getting anything done and feeling disappointed in myself. It’s a little frustrating. Like losing weight. I know what I need to do but I don’t. I think that needs to be the new definition of stupidity. I wonder what it is on a deeper level… the fear of succeeding? The fear of failing? Fear. Or is it fear as well as that deep-seated feeling of not being good enough, that lack of self-worth.
So what does the Master Procrastinator do? Takes on a blog-a-day challenge to further take time away from what she knows she really could be doing to better her businesses. I just know though, that if I wasn’t doing this, it’d be something else to procrastinate over. Like wondering randomly how much art supplies you’ve swallowed in your life because you didn’t bother to wash your hands before you ate. Unhygenic much? Pfft, just down-right laziness I reckon!
Well I think that’s enough rabbling for today. Time to ponder how or what to put together to email to these taverns. That part isn’t the hard part that makes me feel sick. It’s the follow up phone call a week later that does my head in. Why does that have to be so hard for me? WHY??!!!!!!!