This is NOT an art related post! Why? Because my life isn’t always in all ways about art and creativity. Sometimes it’s just all about me!! So I have decided that while I will post art related stuffs here I am also going to let those who want to know about me in to my inner sanctum to some extent. So today, welcome to the newest journey I have undertaken and I hope you will witness it for me.
What is this journey about? Well if you know me IRL you know how morbidly obese I am. There I said it. I’ve never denied it, I just tend to avoid the fact… a lot. It brings me great shame to admit it out loud because no matter how many different ways I try to overcome it, I always, always tend to sabotage myself into an even bigger state than which I began. I have had this new (for me) product pop up in my life from a few different people over the past few months and as I ignored it, the universe deemed it necessary to make me even more aware of it. So I researched. I did my due diligence. I read the pros, the cons and tried to find a medium somewhere in the middle. At the end of my research I decided y’know what… I want to be my own case study. I have heard a heap of stories about how it’s helped this that and the other person and has attributed to this that and the other aspect of people’s lives. I have read about this that and the other ingredient… singular ingredient, not the system as a whole… that is “bad” for you. I got to thinking, well you know what? The stuff I’m consuming right now is bad for me anyway, so why not try the system. For 30 days. So I did.
Today is the first day. I weighed myself (shudder). I measured my neck, my upper arms, my chest, my bust, my diaphragm, my waist, my abdomen, my butt, my upper thighs, my upper knees, my calves (sad face). It is really confronting seeing it all laid out to bare there. Knowing you are more than twice the person you are meant to be. Knowing that your arse measurement is almost the same as your height *shame*. It makes me sick knowing people can see me like this. I don’t see me like this. In my head I am nowhere near as big as I am. No matter how much I know I’m huge it is ALWAYS a shock when I catch sight of myself… which I don’t often do. I’ve become very good at avoiding my reflection. I still need to take my ‘before’ photos… I dread that. Because the camera never lies. I know I need to do it, if only so I can look back at the end of this month and see visual evidence of whether this system is all it’s made out to be or not.
This system proclaims to do a lot. It removes the toxins from our bodies, it helps you lose weight because your fat cells are no longer surrounding those toxins to protect you, therefore your fat can be used instead of stored and you have the ability to then create lean muscle. It gives you more energy which helps you focus more, your sleep is more restful, and so many comments of how people feel happier, of how even cranky, miserable people are now shiny happy people. Then of course you can make money out of it. For me, the making money, while it would be nice, is not the part that ended up reeling me in. Contrary to what you might be thinking, it’s not even the weight loss part. The weight loss is going to be an added bonus. No, the part that put me over the edge of indecision is the extra energy reports. If I can wake up and feel awake, if I can have energy to get through the day, if I can focus on projects for more than a half hour at a time… it will all be worth it. If I lose weight and earn money at the same time awesome. If I don’t make any money that is ok too.
It is my goal to take a selfie every day for the month then turn them into a short time lapse to see if there is a difference. If I continue on the system to reach a healthier weight I will continue to do that cause I think that would be really fun to watch at the end. I hope, so hard, that this works. I guarantee if I can get back to healthy weight I will never, ever, ever, ever, ever in this lifetime, reach the state I’m currently in. I will not be a victim to sugar and overly processed foods again!!
So stay tuned to my blog over the coming month. I want to commit to doing at least a weekly update of how I’m going and what kind of loss I’m having or what kind of gain I’m having. How I’m feeling both emotionally, physically, mentally. I may update even more. I may need to use this space to get through the rough patches, but I’ll be sure to celebrate the good patches with you too. I hope you stick with me and I hope I stick to this. I could use all the support I can get. All the encouragement I can get. Because I do not want to live this way anymore. I want a healthier vessel to travel the rest of this life in. For my children. For my husband. Most importantly though… for me!
Please don’t ask me about the system yet. Like I said, I’m being a case-study. I want to see it, feel it, be it, in action. I want to know within myself that it works. If it does then I will scream it from the rooftops and I will be happy to help YOU with weight loss goals, energy and performance goals, or even aging gracefully goals. Just let me test it out first. Because if I can do this, if I can stick to this, then anyone can… for serious.